Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your Name,
your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven,
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those whose against us,
Save us from the time of trial, and deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours, now and for
ever. Amen.
Psalm 80, Jeremiah 7:1-15, Romans 4:1-12, John 7:14-36
I haven't blogged since Thursday. Ridiculous. There really is no sickness or amount of busy-ness that should take my attention from God, therefore I have no real excuse. But, God still speaks to me, even when I don't give Him the time of day that He deserves. I have been reading though, and everyday since Thursday I keep reading scripture that all point to God's amazing love though not one deserves even the smallest amount of anything He has to offer. These things don't just come for free or as a result of us living our lives the way we may choose to live them, but by obedience and rebirth in Him. When Jesus tells Nicodemus this, (I can imagine myself having the same reaction as Nicodemus), Nicodemus doesn't understand what He means by this. Jesus goes further to explain that, "Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.' " John 3:6-7 Nicodemus, one of Israel's teachers, did not understand this. I don't think I had a full understanding of this until last Sunday actually. Pastor Chet compared our first, human birth with our second birth, that is, our spiritual birth in Christ. Here are some comparisons I wrote down in my notes:
First Birth Second Birth
earthly parents Heavenly Father
leads to death Leads to life
temporary Everlasting
happened by necessity Happened by choice
Of course I had heard of a "rebirth" in Christ, but not in these terms. I had never outweighed one with the other. There are many other comparisons that could be listed there, those are just the ones I was able to write down, but how much more the second birth already outweighs the first one! I can't believe I have never considered this.
Another thing that seems to be trending among different friends as well as myself, is that stage of depression, guilt, and self doubt in our right to either speak anything that we think God has/is showing us, or simply to even begin to be in His presence trying to serve Him. Last night at chapter, one of our officers, Ali, said something I had never thought of before- 'guilt is not from God.' It is so easy for me to get in this funk where I can't count how many ways I am undeserving of God's glory, and I am so down and out because I am allowing all of my past mistakes to turn me away from God. So, even though I am not participating in those things anymore, they are still taking dominion over my life, and leading me away from God, because I am focusing on the guilt and shame that I feel from all of those things. True, I am not deserving and never will be, but God did not call me to dwell in the hurtful and stupid things that I have done. He doesn't call any of us to do that. One of my friends showed me these scriptures today that are perfect for this:
"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-- yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16
He calls us to come to Him with the attitude of confidence. I had not once heard this. I am so used to coming to Him downtrodden and in anguish from the sins I've committed, even if they are far behind me, but that's not the way He wants to see me. How much more is His love for us displayed in this fact, that even though I deserve to come to Him with my head bowed low and never being able to look in His eyes because of my sins, He calls me to come to Him with confidence in knowing that He loves me and will help me and provide every single thing that I need in this life and beyond to get through whatever comes my way.
"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." Hebrews 4:12-13
Something I have been praying for is humility. John the Baptist had disciples, but he never let one praise come to him, or one question as to whether he was the Christ come to Him, without giving Everything back to God. Not one time: "The people were waiting expectantly and were all wondering in their hearts if John might possibly be the Christ. John answered them all, 'I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire. His winnowing fork is in his hand to clear his threshing floor and to gather the wheat into his barn, but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.' And with many other words John exhorted the people and preached the good news to them." Luke 3:15-18 What humility this must take. This is ultimate humility, its humility that realizes there is something so much greater than I that none of this is coming from me, it is coming from the One who sent me, the reason for my being, my life, my everything. No fame could take this away from John, and he had more fame than any celebrity today. Man, I want this kind of humility. In this kind of humility, guilt is dispelled. It is a stronger kind of humility in that even though you are aware of where your help comes from and to whom all praise, glory and honor goes to, and that you are beyond unworthy in your human nature, you are not bound by guilt and shame. Ultimate humility, the kind that gives us the ability to approach the throne with the confidence He has called us to. He wants more than that for us. He has always wanted more than that for us.
When I am going through an intense period of temptation, which seems to be more and more prevalent lately, I used to think that God was not present, and that He didn't understand what I was going through and why I was feeling the way I was feeling. Psalm 139 completely destroys any evidence that this could ever be true:
"O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying
down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in--behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your
presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you
are there."
Psalm 139:1-8
It's not just those verses, this entire Psalm is amazing. The famous verse about being "fearfully and wonderfully made" (v. 14) is one of the most quoted verses of our time. But, whenever I wonder where the Lord is in such a time of trouble and loneliness, this verse alone, quickly shifts my focus back to how things really are. This is the Truth. The best kind of truth there is, that is, about the Savior.
My challenge for myself this week is to always, no matter what the cost, display the fruits of the Spirit. I am not good at this, especially where it is concerning patience. But, if I am going to proclaim to be a child of God, then I need what is manifesting on the inside of me to be expressed outwardly. At church this weekend, we had a spiritual deepening weekend, and hosted Reverend Charles Johnson. It was amazing. Yesterday he talked about the three different kinds of Christians. The first, babes of Christ, the second, lukewarm Christians (Revelation 3:16), and the third, carnal christians. The first kind, the babes of Christ, are new Christians who need to move into their full potential which will only be found in their identity in Christ. The second, the lukewarm Christian is complacent and content to live in a mediocre spiritual life. And the third, the carnal Christian is the christian who always struggles with evil on the inside of them. I think I have been each one of these Christians and still am to some degree, but I am ready to move past that. I think this begins with an "outward manifestation" as Reverend Johnson called it, of an "inward presence." God doesn't just want us to strive for these things, taking random stabs in the dark, no He gives us everything we need for this, just Jesus did for the disciples and for the Israelites, and everyone else.
"Though the LORD is on high, he looks
upon the lowly,
but the proud he knows from afar.
Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
you preserve my life;
you stretch out your hand against the
anger of my foes;
with your right hand you save me.
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD, endures forever--
do not abandon the works of your hands."
Psalm 138:6-8
It's going to be a good week. :)
EVENING PRAYER-- O God, fill my soul with so entire a love for you, that I may love nothing but you. Give me grace to study your knowledge daily, that the more I know you, the more I may love you, through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.
EVENING PRAYER-- O God, fill my soul with so entire a love for you, that I may love nothing but you. Give me grace to study your knowledge daily, that the more I know you, the more I may love you, through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.
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