MORNING PRAYER--
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your Name,
your kingdom come, your will be donw, on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
Save us from the time of trial, and deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours, now and for
ever. Amen.
Psalm 42, Jeremiah 10:11-24, Romans 5:12-21, John 8:21-32
Even with the amount of tiredness I have been experiencing this week, the thing that has been on my mind constantly, a little bit more than 100% of the time is the amount of grace God's love has continously given me. Even when my day is going horribly and before I get out of the bed in the morning I'm thinking of a million reasons why I shouldn't go to class, I start to think about how good it is to even be able to be in my right mind, despite my sins. How good it is to wake up period. How good it is to have the comfy bed that I have. How good it is to see another day that I could never dream to deserve. How good it is to have the option of going to school, or to work, at all. Despite my sins, God allows me to enjoy more than the simple commodities of life. That is crazy to me.
"The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin icreased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 5:20-21
The very next chapter in Romans tells us that just because we are given grace doesn't mean we should continue to sin. How many times have I acted sinfully because of this fact! I have said to myself a million times, 'God will forgive me as long as I tell Him what I did later.' or, 'as long as I confess my sins to Him, I will be forgiven.' This is exactly what He tells us not to do. I am knowingly sinning against Him. It doesn't matter what I plan to do later. What if later never comes, then what? Being taught to live life in the moment, while still leading a responsible life is a lesson I'm sure I will be learning for the rest of it, but it's well beyond worth it. There are so many more things to enjoy in life and so much more time to enjoy it when you are sober, even moreso when you are living in/through Christ.
Last night in bible study we talked about a relationship with Christ. God does not only want us to serve, love and obey Him, He invites us and desires that we have relationship with Him. So, just as He disciplines as a Father, so too does He love as a Father:
"Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knowck. If anyone hears my coice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." Revelation 3:19-20
What in the world does Christ have to gain from being in a relationship with me?? Not one thing, but it isn't about what He has to gain, because there is nothing I have that He needs, but He does this all for the good of His children, for me. He puts His neck on the chopping block and gives me the axe every single day..... and even though He has to regenerate every couple hours, He never ceases. What a God we serve.
EVENING PRAYER-- My Lord and my God, you see my heart; and my desires are not hidden from you. I am encouraged and strengthened by your goodness to me today. I want to be yours and yours alone. O my God, my Savior, my Sanctifier, hear me, help me, and show mercy to me for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen.
So, there has been a change of plans. Its funny how the Devil wanted to take control of this. I will be doing the Ashes to Fire Daily Reflections from Ash Wednesday to Pentecost. He broke my heart tonight (in the best way possible).
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
"I Will Lift Mine Eyes"
MORNING PRAYER-
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your Name,
your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
Save us from the time of trial, and deliver us from evil,
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours, now and for
ever. Amen.
Psalm 78, Jeremiah 7:21-34, Romans 4:13-25, John 7:37-52
"They forgot what he had done,
the wonders he had shown them.
He did miracles in the sight of their
fathers.
in the land of Egypt, in the region of
Zoan.
He divided the sea and led them
through;
he made the water stand firm like a
wall.
He guided them with the cloud by day
and with light from the fire all night.
He split the rocks in the desert
and gave them water as abundant
as the seas;
he crought streams out of a rocky crag
and made water flow down like
rivers."
Psalm 78:11-16
I have found myself thinking so much lately about how dumb I thought the Israelites were for not believing despite all of the miracles God continued to show them, and despite all of them people He even appeared to and talked to directly among them at that time. I have constantly been chuckling to myself as I read about their inability to follow and keep the law that had been so graciously and bluntly presented to them time after time, thinking to myself that I would have been the one to follow, despite what everyone else did..... WHAT??! No, I wouldn't have. He shows me the exact things today, and do I follow Him even half the time?? Absoltely not. My pride, thus the devil, tells me these things in order to stunt my growth in Christ. I have seen the devil hard at work moreso lately than ever before. It shows me that I'm growing, but I have allowed it to pull me from putting everything I have in God's hands. All kinds of things have been working against me in every area of my life, causing me to doubt. How much different am I from the Israelites?! Not at all. In temptation, I am not blameless like Him (of course, I never could be) but I don't even try. I am quick to forget His words, and want to hide in my humanly world of self doubt, loathing, and sloth. Even though I am so human, He doesn't scold me or throw me to the side when I know that I frustrate the living daylights out of Him:
"Yet he was merciful;
he forgave their iniquities
and did not destroy them.
Time after time he restrained his anger
and did not stir up his full wrath.
He remembered that they were but
flesh,
a passing breeze that does not return."
Psalm 78:38-39
Even though we receive this kind of mercy and grace, that doesn't give us license to continue to sin. It only gives us license to realize this and to strive with everything we have and everything we don't have to give our all to be able to enoy the inheritance to which we are promised in His name.
"What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey-- whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness." Romans 8:15-18
Lovely.
EVENING PRAYER-- O Lamb of God, in this eveing sacrifice of praise and prayer, I offer you a contrite heart. Give me grace, thoughout my whole life, in every thought, and word, and work to imitate your meekness and humility, through Christ, my Lord, I pray. Amen.
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your Name,
your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
Save us from the time of trial, and deliver us from evil,
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours, now and for
ever. Amen.
Psalm 78, Jeremiah 7:21-34, Romans 4:13-25, John 7:37-52
"They forgot what he had done,
the wonders he had shown them.
He did miracles in the sight of their
fathers.
in the land of Egypt, in the region of
Zoan.
He divided the sea and led them
through;
he made the water stand firm like a
wall.
He guided them with the cloud by day
and with light from the fire all night.
He split the rocks in the desert
and gave them water as abundant
as the seas;
he crought streams out of a rocky crag
and made water flow down like
rivers."
Psalm 78:11-16
I have found myself thinking so much lately about how dumb I thought the Israelites were for not believing despite all of the miracles God continued to show them, and despite all of them people He even appeared to and talked to directly among them at that time. I have constantly been chuckling to myself as I read about their inability to follow and keep the law that had been so graciously and bluntly presented to them time after time, thinking to myself that I would have been the one to follow, despite what everyone else did..... WHAT??! No, I wouldn't have. He shows me the exact things today, and do I follow Him even half the time?? Absoltely not. My pride, thus the devil, tells me these things in order to stunt my growth in Christ. I have seen the devil hard at work moreso lately than ever before. It shows me that I'm growing, but I have allowed it to pull me from putting everything I have in God's hands. All kinds of things have been working against me in every area of my life, causing me to doubt. How much different am I from the Israelites?! Not at all. In temptation, I am not blameless like Him (of course, I never could be) but I don't even try. I am quick to forget His words, and want to hide in my humanly world of self doubt, loathing, and sloth. Even though I am so human, He doesn't scold me or throw me to the side when I know that I frustrate the living daylights out of Him:
"Yet he was merciful;
he forgave their iniquities
and did not destroy them.
Time after time he restrained his anger
and did not stir up his full wrath.
He remembered that they were but
flesh,
a passing breeze that does not return."
Psalm 78:38-39
Even though we receive this kind of mercy and grace, that doesn't give us license to continue to sin. It only gives us license to realize this and to strive with everything we have and everything we don't have to give our all to be able to enoy the inheritance to which we are promised in His name.
"What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey-- whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness." Romans 8:15-18
Lovely.
EVENING PRAYER-- O Lamb of God, in this eveing sacrifice of praise and prayer, I offer you a contrite heart. Give me grace, thoughout my whole life, in every thought, and word, and work to imitate your meekness and humility, through Christ, my Lord, I pray. Amen.
Monday, March 28, 2011
"Spiritual Fervor"
MORNING PRAYER--
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your Name,
your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven,
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those whose against us,
Save us from the time of trial, and deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours, now and for
ever. Amen.
Psalm 80, Jeremiah 7:1-15, Romans 4:1-12, John 7:14-36
I haven't blogged since Thursday. Ridiculous. There really is no sickness or amount of busy-ness that should take my attention from God, therefore I have no real excuse. But, God still speaks to me, even when I don't give Him the time of day that He deserves. I have been reading though, and everyday since Thursday I keep reading scripture that all point to God's amazing love though not one deserves even the smallest amount of anything He has to offer. These things don't just come for free or as a result of us living our lives the way we may choose to live them, but by obedience and rebirth in Him. When Jesus tells Nicodemus this, (I can imagine myself having the same reaction as Nicodemus), Nicodemus doesn't understand what He means by this. Jesus goes further to explain that, "Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.' " John 3:6-7 Nicodemus, one of Israel's teachers, did not understand this. I don't think I had a full understanding of this until last Sunday actually. Pastor Chet compared our first, human birth with our second birth, that is, our spiritual birth in Christ. Here are some comparisons I wrote down in my notes:
First Birth Second Birth
earthly parents Heavenly Father
leads to death Leads to life
temporary Everlasting
happened by necessity Happened by choice
Of course I had heard of a "rebirth" in Christ, but not in these terms. I had never outweighed one with the other. There are many other comparisons that could be listed there, those are just the ones I was able to write down, but how much more the second birth already outweighs the first one! I can't believe I have never considered this.
Another thing that seems to be trending among different friends as well as myself, is that stage of depression, guilt, and self doubt in our right to either speak anything that we think God has/is showing us, or simply to even begin to be in His presence trying to serve Him. Last night at chapter, one of our officers, Ali, said something I had never thought of before- 'guilt is not from God.' It is so easy for me to get in this funk where I can't count how many ways I am undeserving of God's glory, and I am so down and out because I am allowing all of my past mistakes to turn me away from God. So, even though I am not participating in those things anymore, they are still taking dominion over my life, and leading me away from God, because I am focusing on the guilt and shame that I feel from all of those things. True, I am not deserving and never will be, but God did not call me to dwell in the hurtful and stupid things that I have done. He doesn't call any of us to do that. One of my friends showed me these scriptures today that are perfect for this:
"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-- yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16
He calls us to come to Him with the attitude of confidence. I had not once heard this. I am so used to coming to Him downtrodden and in anguish from the sins I've committed, even if they are far behind me, but that's not the way He wants to see me. How much more is His love for us displayed in this fact, that even though I deserve to come to Him with my head bowed low and never being able to look in His eyes because of my sins, He calls me to come to Him with confidence in knowing that He loves me and will help me and provide every single thing that I need in this life and beyond to get through whatever comes my way.
"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." Hebrews 4:12-13
Something I have been praying for is humility. John the Baptist had disciples, but he never let one praise come to him, or one question as to whether he was the Christ come to Him, without giving Everything back to God. Not one time: "The people were waiting expectantly and were all wondering in their hearts if John might possibly be the Christ. John answered them all, 'I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire. His winnowing fork is in his hand to clear his threshing floor and to gather the wheat into his barn, but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.' And with many other words John exhorted the people and preached the good news to them." Luke 3:15-18 What humility this must take. This is ultimate humility, its humility that realizes there is something so much greater than I that none of this is coming from me, it is coming from the One who sent me, the reason for my being, my life, my everything. No fame could take this away from John, and he had more fame than any celebrity today. Man, I want this kind of humility. In this kind of humility, guilt is dispelled. It is a stronger kind of humility in that even though you are aware of where your help comes from and to whom all praise, glory and honor goes to, and that you are beyond unworthy in your human nature, you are not bound by guilt and shame. Ultimate humility, the kind that gives us the ability to approach the throne with the confidence He has called us to. He wants more than that for us. He has always wanted more than that for us.
When I am going through an intense period of temptation, which seems to be more and more prevalent lately, I used to think that God was not present, and that He didn't understand what I was going through and why I was feeling the way I was feeling. Psalm 139 completely destroys any evidence that this could ever be true:
"O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying
down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in--behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your
presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you
are there."
Psalm 139:1-8
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your Name,
your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven,
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those whose against us,
Save us from the time of trial, and deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours, now and for
ever. Amen.
Psalm 80, Jeremiah 7:1-15, Romans 4:1-12, John 7:14-36
I haven't blogged since Thursday. Ridiculous. There really is no sickness or amount of busy-ness that should take my attention from God, therefore I have no real excuse. But, God still speaks to me, even when I don't give Him the time of day that He deserves. I have been reading though, and everyday since Thursday I keep reading scripture that all point to God's amazing love though not one deserves even the smallest amount of anything He has to offer. These things don't just come for free or as a result of us living our lives the way we may choose to live them, but by obedience and rebirth in Him. When Jesus tells Nicodemus this, (I can imagine myself having the same reaction as Nicodemus), Nicodemus doesn't understand what He means by this. Jesus goes further to explain that, "Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.' " John 3:6-7 Nicodemus, one of Israel's teachers, did not understand this. I don't think I had a full understanding of this until last Sunday actually. Pastor Chet compared our first, human birth with our second birth, that is, our spiritual birth in Christ. Here are some comparisons I wrote down in my notes:
First Birth Second Birth
earthly parents Heavenly Father
leads to death Leads to life
temporary Everlasting
happened by necessity Happened by choice
Of course I had heard of a "rebirth" in Christ, but not in these terms. I had never outweighed one with the other. There are many other comparisons that could be listed there, those are just the ones I was able to write down, but how much more the second birth already outweighs the first one! I can't believe I have never considered this.
Another thing that seems to be trending among different friends as well as myself, is that stage of depression, guilt, and self doubt in our right to either speak anything that we think God has/is showing us, or simply to even begin to be in His presence trying to serve Him. Last night at chapter, one of our officers, Ali, said something I had never thought of before- 'guilt is not from God.' It is so easy for me to get in this funk where I can't count how many ways I am undeserving of God's glory, and I am so down and out because I am allowing all of my past mistakes to turn me away from God. So, even though I am not participating in those things anymore, they are still taking dominion over my life, and leading me away from God, because I am focusing on the guilt and shame that I feel from all of those things. True, I am not deserving and never will be, but God did not call me to dwell in the hurtful and stupid things that I have done. He doesn't call any of us to do that. One of my friends showed me these scriptures today that are perfect for this:
"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-- yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16
He calls us to come to Him with the attitude of confidence. I had not once heard this. I am so used to coming to Him downtrodden and in anguish from the sins I've committed, even if they are far behind me, but that's not the way He wants to see me. How much more is His love for us displayed in this fact, that even though I deserve to come to Him with my head bowed low and never being able to look in His eyes because of my sins, He calls me to come to Him with confidence in knowing that He loves me and will help me and provide every single thing that I need in this life and beyond to get through whatever comes my way.
"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account." Hebrews 4:12-13
Something I have been praying for is humility. John the Baptist had disciples, but he never let one praise come to him, or one question as to whether he was the Christ come to Him, without giving Everything back to God. Not one time: "The people were waiting expectantly and were all wondering in their hearts if John might possibly be the Christ. John answered them all, 'I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire. His winnowing fork is in his hand to clear his threshing floor and to gather the wheat into his barn, but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.' And with many other words John exhorted the people and preached the good news to them." Luke 3:15-18 What humility this must take. This is ultimate humility, its humility that realizes there is something so much greater than I that none of this is coming from me, it is coming from the One who sent me, the reason for my being, my life, my everything. No fame could take this away from John, and he had more fame than any celebrity today. Man, I want this kind of humility. In this kind of humility, guilt is dispelled. It is a stronger kind of humility in that even though you are aware of where your help comes from and to whom all praise, glory and honor goes to, and that you are beyond unworthy in your human nature, you are not bound by guilt and shame. Ultimate humility, the kind that gives us the ability to approach the throne with the confidence He has called us to. He wants more than that for us. He has always wanted more than that for us.
When I am going through an intense period of temptation, which seems to be more and more prevalent lately, I used to think that God was not present, and that He didn't understand what I was going through and why I was feeling the way I was feeling. Psalm 139 completely destroys any evidence that this could ever be true:
"O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying
down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in--behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your
presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you
are there."
Psalm 139:1-8
It's not just those verses, this entire Psalm is amazing. The famous verse about being "fearfully and wonderfully made" (v. 14) is one of the most quoted verses of our time. But, whenever I wonder where the Lord is in such a time of trouble and loneliness, this verse alone, quickly shifts my focus back to how things really are. This is the Truth. The best kind of truth there is, that is, about the Savior.
My challenge for myself this week is to always, no matter what the cost, display the fruits of the Spirit. I am not good at this, especially where it is concerning patience. But, if I am going to proclaim to be a child of God, then I need what is manifesting on the inside of me to be expressed outwardly. At church this weekend, we had a spiritual deepening weekend, and hosted Reverend Charles Johnson. It was amazing. Yesterday he talked about the three different kinds of Christians. The first, babes of Christ, the second, lukewarm Christians (Revelation 3:16), and the third, carnal christians. The first kind, the babes of Christ, are new Christians who need to move into their full potential which will only be found in their identity in Christ. The second, the lukewarm Christian is complacent and content to live in a mediocre spiritual life. And the third, the carnal Christian is the christian who always struggles with evil on the inside of them. I think I have been each one of these Christians and still am to some degree, but I am ready to move past that. I think this begins with an "outward manifestation" as Reverend Johnson called it, of an "inward presence." God doesn't just want us to strive for these things, taking random stabs in the dark, no He gives us everything we need for this, just Jesus did for the disciples and for the Israelites, and everyone else.
"Though the LORD is on high, he looks
upon the lowly,
but the proud he knows from afar.
Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
you preserve my life;
you stretch out your hand against the
anger of my foes;
with your right hand you save me.
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD, endures forever--
do not abandon the works of your hands."
Psalm 138:6-8
It's going to be a good week. :)
EVENING PRAYER-- O God, fill my soul with so entire a love for you, that I may love nothing but you. Give me grace to study your knowledge daily, that the more I know you, the more I may love you, through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.
EVENING PRAYER-- O God, fill my soul with so entire a love for you, that I may love nothing but you. Give me grace to study your knowledge daily, that the more I know you, the more I may love you, through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
"Secrets"
MORNING PRAYER-- O Eternal God, my Savior and Lord, I acknowledge that all I am and all I have is yours. I pray that you will surround me with such a sense of your infinite goodness, that I may return to you all possible love and obedience, through Jesus Christ, Amen.
Psalm 71, Jeremiah 4:9-14, Romans 2:12-24, John 5:19-29
I couldn't post yesterday due to the fact that I have an inner ear infection.... Perfect timing guys, perfect timing. Anyways, the theme that I have heard at least 20 times this week seems to be surrounding worshipping in truth and in Spirit. While I was reading the verses from Romans today, verse 16 made me stop: "This will take place on the day when God judges people's secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares." I cannot count the amount of times which I have forgotten that God knows all my secrets. He knows them better than I do even. This is a pretty scary thought to me. And after I read this verse, I felt unsettled, but immediately tried to make myself feel better by comparing my secrets to someone else's, you know what I mean, the common "well, at least I'm not like (insert person you're judging here)." Ridiculous! On judgement day, Jesus isn't going to look at me and say, "you do have secrets, but yours aren't as bad as hers... so, you're in!" He is going to judge me and me alone. It's gonna be me and Him.
Another reading that goes along with this is Matthew 27:22-26. This is when Pilate washes his hands clean of Jesus' fate. There is no such thing. Everytime I read this, I think about all the odds that were stacked against Pilate, but they were absolutely nothing compared to those against Jesus Christ, which Pilate only added to. I think about how absurd it is for Pilate to think that he had rid himself of any blame and responsibility by leaving it up to the crowd. But, how many times do I do this? I just did it like 5 minutes ago, so that should give you an idea of how often I participate in this kind of shallow thinking. I've got lots of changing to do!
EVENING PRAYER-- O Lord, "the sacrifice acceptable [to you] is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise . . . You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart." Amen.
Psalm 71, Jeremiah 4:9-14, Romans 2:12-24, John 5:19-29
I couldn't post yesterday due to the fact that I have an inner ear infection.... Perfect timing guys, perfect timing. Anyways, the theme that I have heard at least 20 times this week seems to be surrounding worshipping in truth and in Spirit. While I was reading the verses from Romans today, verse 16 made me stop: "This will take place on the day when God judges people's secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares." I cannot count the amount of times which I have forgotten that God knows all my secrets. He knows them better than I do even. This is a pretty scary thought to me. And after I read this verse, I felt unsettled, but immediately tried to make myself feel better by comparing my secrets to someone else's, you know what I mean, the common "well, at least I'm not like (insert person you're judging here)." Ridiculous! On judgement day, Jesus isn't going to look at me and say, "you do have secrets, but yours aren't as bad as hers... so, you're in!" He is going to judge me and me alone. It's gonna be me and Him.
Another reading that goes along with this is Matthew 27:22-26. This is when Pilate washes his hands clean of Jesus' fate. There is no such thing. Everytime I read this, I think about all the odds that were stacked against Pilate, but they were absolutely nothing compared to those against Jesus Christ, which Pilate only added to. I think about how absurd it is for Pilate to think that he had rid himself of any blame and responsibility by leaving it up to the crowd. But, how many times do I do this? I just did it like 5 minutes ago, so that should give you an idea of how often I participate in this kind of shallow thinking. I've got lots of changing to do!
EVENING PRAYER-- O Lord, "the sacrifice acceptable [to you] is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise . . . You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart." Amen.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
"Empty and Cracked Cisterns"
MORNING PRAYER-- Blessed are you, Sovereign God of all, to you be praise and glory forever. Open our eyes to behold your presence and strengthen our hands to do your will, that the world may rejoice and give you praise. Amen.
Psalm 61, Jeremiah 2:1-13, Romans 1:16-25, John 4:43-54
The You above is to a song by the band called Red entitled "Forever." I included this song in this post because of many reasons, the first being the fact that it is just too good not to tell someone about it, and the second being that it is the picture of my exact life. You know when you find that song that is your life, and every word in it is so true that you almost feel like that artist or band was made by God, and that God let you hear it at just the exact moment you needed it! Well, this is that song for me. My awesome friend Maegan played it for me one day on the way home from bible study. Here are the lyrics:
I try to run, I try to hide
From a voice that couldn't satisfy
That was me, always needing more
But letting go of all I had before
Cause it feels like the end
A wound that I can't mend
I just can't fight any longer
You waited 'til I sobered
You came when You knew that
The game was over
I didn't even want to be found
But you chased me down and
Broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever, forever
From a voice that couldn't satisfy
That was me, always needing more
But letting go of all I had before
Cause it feels like the end
A wound that I can't mend
I just can't fight any longer
You waited 'til I sobered
You came when You knew that
The game was over
I didn't even want to be found
But you chased me down and
Broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever, forever
I ignored the signs, opened every door
But I couldn't find what I searched for
I try to fight but I turn and run
Every move I make is the wrong one
You patiently wait for my next mistake
I know it won't be much longer
You waited 'til I sobered
You came when You knew that
The game was over
I didn't even want to be found
But you chased me down and
Broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever
You gave me so much more
Than I could ever ask for
But I turned and followed
A road the left me hollow
And still you waited for me
To come back home
You brought me home...
You chased me down and broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever, forever
But I couldn't find what I searched for
I try to fight but I turn and run
Every move I make is the wrong one
You patiently wait for my next mistake
I know it won't be much longer
You waited 'til I sobered
You came when You knew that
The game was over
I didn't even want to be found
But you chased me down and
Broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever
You gave me so much more
Than I could ever ask for
But I turned and followed
A road the left me hollow
And still you waited for me
To come back home
You brought me home...
You chased me down and broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever, forever
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/r/red/forever.html ]
Since the beginning of Lent I have wanted the same passage to be in both my Ashes To Fire book as well as my Daily Devo book! Today it finally happened!!! The passage is Roman's 1:16-25. In this passage, God's wrath and the reasons behind His wrath against mankind are brought to light. In a nutshell, even though the Israelites(just one example) had been shown time and time again, the glory of God and the power of His Word, they continued to worship lesser gods, even after they were delivered into the land which He had promised to Abraham. The New Testament is full of these same kinds of examples. The famous parables take place here, yet instead of giving the glory back to God, the people plotted to kill Him. This made me wonder how many times something so obviously belonging or being of God has gone right by me while I'm busy worshipping my own personal gods (#1 being tv).
I can say that whenever I have ignored something clearly straight from Him He as let me known about it later. The Spirit is in each and everyone of us. But, it doesn't do all the work, it requires total surrender in order for it to reach its full potential within us. When my Spirit is not fed, I feel it. Everything, Everything, feels off. I felt just like the empty cistern in Jeremiah 2:13. Filling myself up with anything other than God, totally neglecting the Spirit inside me. After awhile, I started to feel so empty that I could not be alone. I couldn't stand the sound of my own thoughts. I had SO many holes in my cisterns and there was no way they could be filled by my idols at the time. I honestly don't think I was not under the influence of some drug for more than an hour or two all last summer. Everything about me had changed. I was lying to my family, my friends, and more importantly, myself. I felt horrible walking into church and never wanted to be there anymore, and I hated the idea of a Daily Devotional. At one point, I thought I was closer to God when I was high. "Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools." Romans 1:22 As I drove myself deeper into the drugs, my "thinking became futile and [my] foolish heart(s) [was] darkened," Romans 1:21. Toward the end of summer I took a trip with one of my friends to her hometown, and being sober there pretty much slapped me in the face. After a horrible and sleepless first night, the next day at a water park I told her that I no longer wanted drugs to be a part of my life. Surprisingly enough, she said she felt the same way, but I soon found things not to be so easy when we got back. Long story short, I immediately sought freedom from the drugs. My friend and I don't hang out now, that's not to say anything bad about her, because I miss her. She and I were best friends, and even though we chose different paths as far as I am concerned once a best friend, always a best friend. I do know that she is on the search for the same God that I am, and I pray that she is finding more than she ever imagined in Him.
It still amazes me the grace He showed me in allowing me the time to come to the decision I made. The idea of losing all the friends I had made that summer scared me to death, but the way I felt and the things I had experienced without God terrified me much more. He promised me it would be worth it, and boy is that an understatement. Now, the potter is shaping and forming a new cistern within me. And when He is done, I know it will be the most perfect one because the holes will be filled up with Him.
EVENING PRAYER-- O Lord, "the sacrifice acceptable [to you] is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise . . . Create in me a clean hear, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me." Amen.
Monday, March 21, 2011
"Give Me Your Eyes"
MORNING PRAYER-- O God, you are the giver of all good gifts and I desire to praise your name for all of your goodness to me. I thank you for sending your Son to die for my sins, for the means of grace, and for the hope of glory, through Jesus Christ. Amen.
Psalm 56, Jeremiah 1:1-19, Romans 1:1-15, John 4:27-42
The ability and presence of God in my life is undeniable. I see Him everywhere I go, and He is now teaching me how to see Him not only in the beauty of nature, or in the beauty found within the innocent face of a child, but to see beauty in every single human being that He has made. This is a very hard concept to grasp for me sometimes, because, as we all know, people are complex. I can never be sure of a person's intentions, values, or their personality by looking at them, but one thing that I can be sure of is that they have been designed, created and formed by God. It doesn't matter if that person has recognized it yet, or if they will ever recognize it for that matter, its about seeing them through God's eyes. It's about me realizing that not one person is better than another in the eyes of the Father. So, instead of judgement, I want love, patience, loving kindness, all that stuff.
Who among us could ever know the people that God has chosen to speak through at any given time? Who among us could know the destiny of someone else's life, or what God is about to deliver that person into, or what He is about to deliver them from? I'm finding out that knowing that is not my job, but that my job is to display the characteristics of the Spirit so that my life may reflect the love for Jesus Christ that has consumed my heart and soul. God changes lives, and anyone, at any given time, can realize His glory. This isn't one of the scriptures above, but it was part of another Devo today: Luke 23:39-43. This is the story of the criminal who, facing death, realized the glory of the Son of God who was facing the same death right next to him on a cross. While the criminal on the other side of Christ joined in with the others in hurling insults at the Son, this man begin to understand the true crimes which were being committed at that place. He confessed that the punishment he was receiving was just what his life deserved, but that " 'this man has done nothing wrong.' Then he said, 'Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.' Jesus answered him, 'I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.' " (Luke 23:41-43)
This response by Jesus blows my mind. He didn't answer out of spite to this criminal or even give it a second thought. He recognized the sincerity of this man immediately and answered Him with deep compassion and love. What a God we serve! This is how He answers us daily. I know for a fact that I don't deserve this, nor will I ever. He does not discriminate in who He uses for His glory. He appointed Jeremiah before he was born, before He formed him in his mother's womb.... Once again I say, What a God we serve!
If I am really seeking to live my life for Him, then I desire with all my heart, and will look at others with the same compassion He feels when He looks at me. He looks past all my walls I try to put up, and all of the things of this earth and my flesh that I struggle with daily. He knows my struggles, and has and will be with me through every second of everyone of them. He gives me blessings that I don't need just because He cares. He gives me peace despite the things I try to interrupt that peace with. He gives me love and comfort, even when the discomforts I feel are because of my own shortcomings, and utter disobedience. He is patient with me when I expect the world and everything in it to be on my time. He has changed my life.
Gotta put this song in again guys. I love it, sorry!!!
Psalm 56, Jeremiah 1:1-19, Romans 1:1-15, John 4:27-42
The ability and presence of God in my life is undeniable. I see Him everywhere I go, and He is now teaching me how to see Him not only in the beauty of nature, or in the beauty found within the innocent face of a child, but to see beauty in every single human being that He has made. This is a very hard concept to grasp for me sometimes, because, as we all know, people are complex. I can never be sure of a person's intentions, values, or their personality by looking at them, but one thing that I can be sure of is that they have been designed, created and formed by God. It doesn't matter if that person has recognized it yet, or if they will ever recognize it for that matter, its about seeing them through God's eyes. It's about me realizing that not one person is better than another in the eyes of the Father. So, instead of judgement, I want love, patience, loving kindness, all that stuff.
Who among us could ever know the people that God has chosen to speak through at any given time? Who among us could know the destiny of someone else's life, or what God is about to deliver that person into, or what He is about to deliver them from? I'm finding out that knowing that is not my job, but that my job is to display the characteristics of the Spirit so that my life may reflect the love for Jesus Christ that has consumed my heart and soul. God changes lives, and anyone, at any given time, can realize His glory. This isn't one of the scriptures above, but it was part of another Devo today: Luke 23:39-43. This is the story of the criminal who, facing death, realized the glory of the Son of God who was facing the same death right next to him on a cross. While the criminal on the other side of Christ joined in with the others in hurling insults at the Son, this man begin to understand the true crimes which were being committed at that place. He confessed that the punishment he was receiving was just what his life deserved, but that " 'this man has done nothing wrong.' Then he said, 'Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.' Jesus answered him, 'I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.' " (Luke 23:41-43)
This response by Jesus blows my mind. He didn't answer out of spite to this criminal or even give it a second thought. He recognized the sincerity of this man immediately and answered Him with deep compassion and love. What a God we serve! This is how He answers us daily. I know for a fact that I don't deserve this, nor will I ever. He does not discriminate in who He uses for His glory. He appointed Jeremiah before he was born, before He formed him in his mother's womb.... Once again I say, What a God we serve!
Jeremiah 1:4-8 (Amplified Bible)
4Then the word of the Lord came to me [Jeremiah], saying,
5Before I formed you in the womb I knew [and] approved of you [as My chosen instrument], and before you were born I separated and set you apart, consecrating you; [and] I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.(A)
6Then said I, Ah, Lord God! Behold, I cannot speak, for I am only a youth.(B)
7But the Lord said to me, Say not, I am only a youth; for you shall go to all to whom I shall send you, and whatever I command you, you shall speak.
8Be not afraid of them [their faces], for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord.
5Before I formed you in the womb I knew [and] approved of you [as My chosen instrument], and before you were born I separated and set you apart, consecrating you; [and] I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.(A)
6Then said I, Ah, Lord God! Behold, I cannot speak, for I am only a youth.(B)
7But the Lord said to me, Say not, I am only a youth; for you shall go to all to whom I shall send you, and whatever I command you, you shall speak.
8Be not afraid of them [their faces], for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord.
If I am really seeking to live my life for Him, then I desire with all my heart, and will look at others with the same compassion He feels when He looks at me. He looks past all my walls I try to put up, and all of the things of this earth and my flesh that I struggle with daily. He knows my struggles, and has and will be with me through every second of everyone of them. He gives me blessings that I don't need just because He cares. He gives me peace despite the things I try to interrupt that peace with. He gives me love and comfort, even when the discomforts I feel are because of my own shortcomings, and utter disobedience. He is patient with me when I expect the world and everything in it to be on my time. He has changed my life.
Gotta put this song in again guys. I love it, sorry!!!
"Well, I am my beloved's
and He is mine
So come into Your garden
and take delight in me
Take delight in me."
EVENING PRAYER-- O Lord, "the sacrifice acceptable [to you] is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you wil not despise . . . Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow." Amen.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
"Obedience"
MORNING PRAYER-- Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires known, and all secrets exposed; cleanse the thoughts of my heart by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that I may perfectly love you and worthily magnify your holy name, through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen.
Psalm 55, Deuteronomy 11:18-28, Hebrews 5:1-10, John 4:1-26
Being obedient for me, only seemed temporary. I felt that I only had to be obedient while I was young and still living in my parents' house and under their rule. For a long time, I felt obedience was only for kids. So, when I first got to college, as you can imagine, obedience was completely out the window I wasn't about to obey my professors, let alone my parents. Long story short, things went downhill very quickly. I did get my act together, however I am still picking up the pieces from the damage I left during my rebellion from obedience. The kind of obedience I'm talking about rebelling from is nothing compared to the obedience God calls us to. It can sometimes seem like obedience on steroids! But, it has a right to be this way, considering all the things of His glory.
God's obedience even had to be learned by Jesus Christ while He was suffering here on earth:
"During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek."-Hebrews 5:7-10
He was heard because of his "reverent submission." In a lot of ways, today, submission is looked upon with negative connotations. Many women, including myself at one point or another, make the joke about not wanting to submit to a man at all, even in marriage. I can see now that I really have no true understanding of what submission really is. Reading about the submission of the Lord to do God's will no matter what has driven that point home time after time this week. I have not truly submitted myself to God just yet I don't believe, but I am slowly learning and educating myself as to what this means!
Obviously my struggles would not ever add up to one millisecond of Christ's struggles while here on earth, but in an attempt to make an analogy, here is the latest on my ridiculously hard life (that's a joke). So, everyone knows it is spring break right now, and with spring break comes gorgeous weather, what else comes with gorgeous weather??... Barbecues!! I love barbecue, but I have been so surprised at his immediate peace that He has given me when I cried out to Him. Granted, its just a barbecue and I'm not addressing this like its some big huge deal where I was trapped and people were trying to force meat down my throat. But, I bring this up because it was a temptation for me that I haven't really experienced before. It kind of made me feel as though Lent was really finally happening officially... I wasn't a fan at that moment. But, as I took a deep breath and prayed for strength silently, I started to appreciate it, and thank God for showing me that His call for obedience is never for nought, and that nothing is ever too small or too unimportant to tempt us.
EVENING PRAYER-- Now to God the Father who first loved us, and made us accepted in the Beloved: to God the Son who loved us and washed us from our sins in his own blood; to God the Holy Spirit who fills our hearts with the love of God, be all love and all glory for time and for eternity. Amen.
Psalm 55, Deuteronomy 11:18-28, Hebrews 5:1-10, John 4:1-26
Being obedient for me, only seemed temporary. I felt that I only had to be obedient while I was young and still living in my parents' house and under their rule. For a long time, I felt obedience was only for kids. So, when I first got to college, as you can imagine, obedience was completely out the window I wasn't about to obey my professors, let alone my parents. Long story short, things went downhill very quickly. I did get my act together, however I am still picking up the pieces from the damage I left during my rebellion from obedience. The kind of obedience I'm talking about rebelling from is nothing compared to the obedience God calls us to. It can sometimes seem like obedience on steroids! But, it has a right to be this way, considering all the things of His glory.
God's obedience even had to be learned by Jesus Christ while He was suffering here on earth:
"During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek."-Hebrews 5:7-10
He was heard because of his "reverent submission." In a lot of ways, today, submission is looked upon with negative connotations. Many women, including myself at one point or another, make the joke about not wanting to submit to a man at all, even in marriage. I can see now that I really have no true understanding of what submission really is. Reading about the submission of the Lord to do God's will no matter what has driven that point home time after time this week. I have not truly submitted myself to God just yet I don't believe, but I am slowly learning and educating myself as to what this means!
Obviously my struggles would not ever add up to one millisecond of Christ's struggles while here on earth, but in an attempt to make an analogy, here is the latest on my ridiculously hard life (that's a joke). So, everyone knows it is spring break right now, and with spring break comes gorgeous weather, what else comes with gorgeous weather??... Barbecues!! I love barbecue, but I have been so surprised at his immediate peace that He has given me when I cried out to Him. Granted, its just a barbecue and I'm not addressing this like its some big huge deal where I was trapped and people were trying to force meat down my throat. But, I bring this up because it was a temptation for me that I haven't really experienced before. It kind of made me feel as though Lent was really finally happening officially... I wasn't a fan at that moment. But, as I took a deep breath and prayed for strength silently, I started to appreciate it, and thank God for showing me that His call for obedience is never for nought, and that nothing is ever too small or too unimportant to tempt us.
EVENING PRAYER-- Now to God the Father who first loved us, and made us accepted in the Beloved: to God the Son who loved us and washed us from our sins in his own blood; to God the Holy Spirit who fills our hearts with the love of God, be all love and all glory for time and for eternity. Amen.
Friday, March 18, 2011
"My Soul Waits For You Alone"
MORNING PRAYER-- God, come to my assistance; Lord, make haste to help me. Glory to the Father and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit; as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever. Amen.
Psalm 95, Deuteronomy 10:12-22, Hebrews 4:12-16, John 3:22-36
"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account."
Hebrews 4:12
In keeping the above verse, John the Baptist completely embodies the idea of living a Christ-like life. When John's disciples and some of the Jews came to him and told him that Jesus was also baptizing in the same water and that everyone was now going to Him to be baptized, John said that in this, his joy was now complete. (John 3: 29) John's ability to recognize his power as being absolutely nothing compared to that of the Son of God is something to strive for, to say the least. He recognized that he was of the earth, but that Jesus was straight from Heaven, therefore possessing all of John's power and so much more. The happiness and joy of John the Baptist was not made complete in the works of his hands and in the things that he was preaching about or showing the people, it was only made complete in the coming of the Son of Man, and in finally seeing, with his own eyes, Jesus, doing just what God said He would do!
This is definitely one of my new favorite passages, because it shows perfect humility. John had lots of power in his community and many who believed in the things that he was teaching and showing them. He could have easily tried to take all the fame and glory as his own, but he lived to give it back to the One to whom it belonged. This seems so foreign to me when I look at our society of today. I don't honor God in my earnings and victories, however, in disaster I ask him why. Nothing that I have is my own, not even my life. Learning how to treat everything as belonging to Him is so foreign, but SO worth it. It's worth it because when I start to do that, the things that I wanted to be secret are no longer worth keeping. He takes those things from the dark and shoves them further out into the light until I can do nothing but learn how to overcome them, through no one's help, but His. His hand guides me through a forrest of what I once thought were my deepest darkest secrets and He shows me that they are not what make me, me in His eyes. My heart is what He sees.
It is the easiest thing for me to get caught up in appearances, which is, coincidentally, the least important thing in my walk with Christ. He doesn't call those who are pretty and blemish-free today, He calls those who have lost their lives for Him, in order to follow ALL of His decrees and laws. He calls those who fear Him. I want to be one of those people.
EVENING PRAYER-- Father, accept my imperfect repentance, have compassion on my infirmities, forgive my faults, purify my uncleanness, strengthen my weakness, fix my unstableness, and let your good Spirit watch over me forever, and your love ever rule in my heart, through the merits and sufferings and love of your Son, in whom you are always well pleased. Amen.
Psalm 95, Deuteronomy 10:12-22, Hebrews 4:12-16, John 3:22-36
"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account."
Hebrews 4:12
In keeping the above verse, John the Baptist completely embodies the idea of living a Christ-like life. When John's disciples and some of the Jews came to him and told him that Jesus was also baptizing in the same water and that everyone was now going to Him to be baptized, John said that in this, his joy was now complete. (John 3: 29) John's ability to recognize his power as being absolutely nothing compared to that of the Son of God is something to strive for, to say the least. He recognized that he was of the earth, but that Jesus was straight from Heaven, therefore possessing all of John's power and so much more. The happiness and joy of John the Baptist was not made complete in the works of his hands and in the things that he was preaching about or showing the people, it was only made complete in the coming of the Son of Man, and in finally seeing, with his own eyes, Jesus, doing just what God said He would do!
This is definitely one of my new favorite passages, because it shows perfect humility. John had lots of power in his community and many who believed in the things that he was teaching and showing them. He could have easily tried to take all the fame and glory as his own, but he lived to give it back to the One to whom it belonged. This seems so foreign to me when I look at our society of today. I don't honor God in my earnings and victories, however, in disaster I ask him why. Nothing that I have is my own, not even my life. Learning how to treat everything as belonging to Him is so foreign, but SO worth it. It's worth it because when I start to do that, the things that I wanted to be secret are no longer worth keeping. He takes those things from the dark and shoves them further out into the light until I can do nothing but learn how to overcome them, through no one's help, but His. His hand guides me through a forrest of what I once thought were my deepest darkest secrets and He shows me that they are not what make me, me in His eyes. My heart is what He sees.
It is the easiest thing for me to get caught up in appearances, which is, coincidentally, the least important thing in my walk with Christ. He doesn't call those who are pretty and blemish-free today, He calls those who have lost their lives for Him, in order to follow ALL of His decrees and laws. He calls those who fear Him. I want to be one of those people.
EVENING PRAYER-- Father, accept my imperfect repentance, have compassion on my infirmities, forgive my faults, purify my uncleanness, strengthen my weakness, fix my unstableness, and let your good Spirit watch over me forever, and your love ever rule in my heart, through the merits and sufferings and love of your Son, in whom you are always well pleased. Amen.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
"Sabbath"
MORNING PRAYER- O Lord, I thank you for all your daily blessings, for keeping me through the night, and providing for my health, strenth and comfort. May I always praise your holy name and love you, my Redeemer, in Jesus' name. Amen.
Psalm 50, Deuteronomy 9:23-10:5, Hebrews 4:1-11, John 3:16-21
This song just popped into my head, its there for a reason, so here are the lyrics:
Psalm 50, Deuteronomy 9:23-10:5, Hebrews 4:1-11, John 3:16-21
This song just popped into my head, its there for a reason, so here are the lyrics:
"O Lord, our Lord,
How majestic is Your name
In all the earth.
O Lord, our Lord,
How majestic is Your name
In all the earth.
O Lord, we praise Your name.
O Lord, we magnify Your name.
Prince of peace, Mighty God,
O Lord God, Almighty."
I love that song. We sing it a lot at our church. I never noticed how beautiful it really was until I typed it out! Beautiful and true, are the lyrics in this song. How majestic is the name of God, the one who sent His one and Only son in order that we may be saved. For us, He did something like this.... now read the lyrics to that song again.
I have heard many different sides and arguments against Christianity, but the one which I have heard discussed most often concerns the appearance of Jesus. The fact that He was a human being has caused people who I have known for years to doubt the true majesty and knowledge of both Jesus and the Almighty God. I cannot speak for any of those people as to what their arguments or questions about this subject would be, but I can speak for myself concerning this matter. I only see this fact as being only another reason on the infinite list of reasons that I have to give my life to Him. God sent His only Son here in the body of a human being, however He was/is much much more than that. He was perfect in every single way. No human being is perfect. However, it's not His perfection that gives me over ten million reasons to thank Him, it is the fact that He was hated. As the amount of hatred shown, felt, and thought towards Him increased, so too, did His love. Even though there were people who were plotting His death everywhere He went, He wept for them. What kind of love is this? I could never even begin to understand the fullness of God, and I don't want to in this world. I know that He has things to show me when the time is right.
I have heard many different sides and arguments against Christianity, but the one which I have heard discussed most often concerns the appearance of Jesus. The fact that He was a human being has caused people who I have known for years to doubt the true majesty and knowledge of both Jesus and the Almighty God. I cannot speak for any of those people as to what their arguments or questions about this subject would be, but I can speak for myself concerning this matter. I only see this fact as being only another reason on the infinite list of reasons that I have to give my life to Him. God sent His only Son here in the body of a human being, however He was/is much much more than that. He was perfect in every single way. No human being is perfect. However, it's not His perfection that gives me over ten million reasons to thank Him, it is the fact that He was hated. As the amount of hatred shown, felt, and thought towards Him increased, so too, did His love. Even though there were people who were plotting His death everywhere He went, He wept for them. What kind of love is this? I could never even begin to understand the fullness of God, and I don't want to in this world. I know that He has things to show me when the time is right.
The first couple days of Lent seemed very easy for me, and things are still going great. Lately though, I am noticing more and more temptation, but everytime it happens it makes me smile. I'm not smiling because I have this all under control, I'm just smiling because I know that He has it all under control. And because He is disciplining me, also because I am in a place where I have never been before, surrounded by so many supportive and amazing friends, and I am LOVING IT!
EVENING PRAYER-- My Lord and my God, you see my heart; and my desiires are not hidden from you. I am encouraged and strengthened by your goodness to me today. I want to be yours and yours alone. O my God, my Sanctifier, hear me, help me, and show mercy to me for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen.
EVENING PRAYER-- My Lord and my God, you see my heart; and my desiires are not hidden from you. I am encouraged and strengthened by your goodness to me today. I want to be yours and yours alone. O my God, my Sanctifier, hear me, help me, and show mercy to me for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
"The Triumphal Entry"
MORNING PRAYER- Lord God, send your Holy Spirit to be the guide of all my ways and the sanctifier of my soul and body. Save, defend, and build me up in your love, through Christ my Lord. Amen.
Psalm 119:49-72, Deuteronomy 9:13-21, Hebrews 3:12-19, John 2:22-3:15
God has shown that what He says will come to pass no matter what, and no matter who tries to stop that from happening. Why not trust in someone whose will is as perfect as this? I trust in Him because His disciples always "found things just as Jesus had told them." (Mark 14: 16) This is another constant display of Jesus throughout the Bible; everytime Jesus told someone what it would be like, or what they were about to find, they found it to be EXACTLY how He said it would be. It was never slightly to the left, or just a little different, always exact.
I have had to read the Triumphal Entry everyday this week, and I have imagined and pictured it a million and seven different ways. None of my ways would be special enough of course, but the thing that sticks out in to me the most in that story is how Jesus told the disciples what to look for in the city and how things would play out. He even told them what to say to the owner if they were asked why they were doing. Even cooler, is their willingness and their faith in Him in that they asked absolutely no questions. I want to be more like them. I question God a lot more than I will ever admit, but He is changing that. I don't have much to say today, but here is some very important scripture:
Psalm 119:49-72, Deuteronomy 9:13-21, Hebrews 3:12-19, John 2:22-3:15
God has shown that what He says will come to pass no matter what, and no matter who tries to stop that from happening. Why not trust in someone whose will is as perfect as this? I trust in Him because His disciples always "found things just as Jesus had told them." (Mark 14: 16) This is another constant display of Jesus throughout the Bible; everytime Jesus told someone what it would be like, or what they were about to find, they found it to be EXACTLY how He said it would be. It was never slightly to the left, or just a little different, always exact.
I have had to read the Triumphal Entry everyday this week, and I have imagined and pictured it a million and seven different ways. None of my ways would be special enough of course, but the thing that sticks out in to me the most in that story is how Jesus told the disciples what to look for in the city and how things would play out. He even told them what to say to the owner if they were asked why they were doing. Even cooler, is their willingness and their faith in Him in that they asked absolutely no questions. I want to be more like them. I question God a lot more than I will ever admit, but He is changing that. I don't have much to say today, but here is some very important scripture:
"I have considered my ways
and have turned my steps to your
statues.
I will hasten and not delay
to obey your commands.
Though the wicked bind me with ropes,
I will not forget your law.
At midnight I rise to give you thanks
for your righteous laws.
I am a friend to all who fear you,
to all who follow your precepts.
The earth is filled with your love,
O LORD;
teach me your decrees."
-Psalm 119:58-64
Its awesome that He allows us to "consider" our ways, especially because He holds all power in His hands, and needs none of us. He chooses to wait for us, and allows us to make mistakes. This was good for me, as I said in my last post, because it makes my praise that much deeper (not deeper than anyone else's, just deeper in general........deeper in my heart, you know what I mean).
"It was good for me to be afflicted
so that I might learn your decrees.
The law from your mouth is more
precoius to me
than thousands of pieces of silver
and gold."
-Psalm 119:71-72
Maybe it looked something like this:
Live today so that we may be a part of something of this kind of Glory one day!! Love.
EVENING PRAYER-- Father, grant me forgiveness of what is past, that in the days to come I may with a pure spirit, do your will-- walking humbly with you, showing love to all, and keeping body and soul in sanctification and honor, in Jesus' name. Amen.
EVENING PRAYER-- Father, grant me forgiveness of what is past, that in the days to come I may with a pure spirit, do your will-- walking humbly with you, showing love to all, and keeping body and soul in sanctification and honor, in Jesus' name. Amen.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
"God Keeps His Promises"
MORNING PRAYER-- Eternal and merciful Father, I give you humble thanks for all the spiritual and earthly blessings which in your mercy you have poured into my life. Lord, let me live only to love you and glorify your name. Amen.
Psalm 45, Deuteronomy 9:4-12, Hebrews 3:1-11, John 2:13-22
The whole journey of the Israelites is unbelievable to me. I am just now reading the part where these descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are about to enter the land of milk and honey of which they were promised. These people, mostly their forefathers, at this point had endured more hardships than any of us have had to deal with in our times. They've had to deal with slavery, plagues, even sudden death from the Hand of God, but God had to deal with a lot from them as well. Through everything the Israelites did against God, whether it was casting an idol, or complaining, or going into battle when He specifically told them that He would not be with them, He still brought them to the land that He had promised to their ancestors. Is that coming through, or is that coming through?! Although they did not come to that land without consequences, they came to the land.
Sunday, Pastor Chet described the time that the Israelites spent in the deserts as being very necessary. This was a time of testing, a time of teaching them discipline, so that when they finall arrived to the place that God had promised them, they would be able to keep His commandments and decrees with no questions asked. This was so that they could teach their sons and daughters, and they could tell them the miracles which God had been continuously showing them since before their departure from the Egyptians.
Whenever God is putting us through something, or whenever He is putting me through something I should say, it used to take everything out of me and I immediately thought that everything was lost and that this was just my lot in life...... I thought to be miserable was my lot in life. I couldn't be further from the truth. But, times of testing and discipline are necessary for me if I really want to learn to be one of His children. It's not easy, but with misery and trouble comes discipline, faithfulness, and clarity. I know now that He allows me to go through the things that I have gone through, and that I will go through in the future all for His glory, and so that my praise will be all the more full, because I know what its like to be without Him.
"I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do EVERYTHING him who gives me strength." Phillippians 4:10-13
EVENING PRAYER-- Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your people and kindle in us the fire of your love. Brin gus rest and renewal through the quiet hours of the night, through Christ our Lord, I pray. Amen.
Psalm 45, Deuteronomy 9:4-12, Hebrews 3:1-11, John 2:13-22
The whole journey of the Israelites is unbelievable to me. I am just now reading the part where these descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are about to enter the land of milk and honey of which they were promised. These people, mostly their forefathers, at this point had endured more hardships than any of us have had to deal with in our times. They've had to deal with slavery, plagues, even sudden death from the Hand of God, but God had to deal with a lot from them as well. Through everything the Israelites did against God, whether it was casting an idol, or complaining, or going into battle when He specifically told them that He would not be with them, He still brought them to the land that He had promised to their ancestors. Is that coming through, or is that coming through?! Although they did not come to that land without consequences, they came to the land.
Sunday, Pastor Chet described the time that the Israelites spent in the deserts as being very necessary. This was a time of testing, a time of teaching them discipline, so that when they finall arrived to the place that God had promised them, they would be able to keep His commandments and decrees with no questions asked. This was so that they could teach their sons and daughters, and they could tell them the miracles which God had been continuously showing them since before their departure from the Egyptians.
Whenever God is putting us through something, or whenever He is putting me through something I should say, it used to take everything out of me and I immediately thought that everything was lost and that this was just my lot in life...... I thought to be miserable was my lot in life. I couldn't be further from the truth. But, times of testing and discipline are necessary for me if I really want to learn to be one of His children. It's not easy, but with misery and trouble comes discipline, faithfulness, and clarity. I know now that He allows me to go through the things that I have gone through, and that I will go through in the future all for His glory, and so that my praise will be all the more full, because I know what its like to be without Him.
"I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do EVERYTHING him who gives me strength." Phillippians 4:10-13
EVENING PRAYER-- Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your people and kindle in us the fire of your love. Brin gus rest and renewal through the quiet hours of the night, through Christ our Lord, I pray. Amen.
Monday, March 14, 2011
"Lead Me"
MORNING PRAYER-- Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires known, and all secrets exposed; cleanase the thoughts of my heart by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that I may perfectly love you and worthily magnify your holy name, through Jesus Christ my Lord, Amen.
Psalm 41, Deuteronomy 8: 11-20, Hebrews 2: 11-18, John 2: 1-12
God continues to lead me, not only through his Word and daily meditations like the ones above, but through other people. He provides us with so many examples at every second of everyday to His glory, whether its through other people, or the beauty in nature, or within some type of miracle of mass proportions. He has a cool way of always letting us know He is here. Sometimes, it happens through someone else's testimony within their disbelief that they have come to such a place where God is the ultimate presence in their life, and their eyes fill with tears at the realization that He was with them all along. He fills my days with joy, even when its raining outside, or even when situations and circumstances seem to want to put me in a low place. He is always there.
"As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more." Psalm 71: 14
We see the reason Jesus is so aware and able to know that we, as humans, may need this type of prodding in Hebrews 2(listed above). Although He was made into human form for many other reasons, one of the reasons was so that He could help us as we are tempted, by bringing Himself low and paying the ultimate sacrifice. To think that He could have easily been content with sitting up in Heaven with his Father, and just allow us to kill each other makes the facts even more amazing. God made His Son to be in the likeness of man, for our benefit. I don't deserve even a millisecond of consideration from Christ, but He gives me more than just a millisecond.
He wants to lead me to Him. What reasons could this world EVER give me to do otherwise.
EVENING PRAYER-- Be present, O God, and protect us through the silent hours of this night, so that we who are wearied by the changes of this fleeting world may rest in your eternal changlessness, in the name of Christ, I pray. Amen.
It's a beautiful day.
Psalm 41, Deuteronomy 8: 11-20, Hebrews 2: 11-18, John 2: 1-12
God continues to lead me, not only through his Word and daily meditations like the ones above, but through other people. He provides us with so many examples at every second of everyday to His glory, whether its through other people, or the beauty in nature, or within some type of miracle of mass proportions. He has a cool way of always letting us know He is here. Sometimes, it happens through someone else's testimony within their disbelief that they have come to such a place where God is the ultimate presence in their life, and their eyes fill with tears at the realization that He was with them all along. He fills my days with joy, even when its raining outside, or even when situations and circumstances seem to want to put me in a low place. He is always there.
"As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more." Psalm 71: 14
We see the reason Jesus is so aware and able to know that we, as humans, may need this type of prodding in Hebrews 2(listed above). Although He was made into human form for many other reasons, one of the reasons was so that He could help us as we are tempted, by bringing Himself low and paying the ultimate sacrifice. To think that He could have easily been content with sitting up in Heaven with his Father, and just allow us to kill each other makes the facts even more amazing. God made His Son to be in the likeness of man, for our benefit. I don't deserve even a millisecond of consideration from Christ, but He gives me more than just a millisecond.
He wants to lead me to Him. What reasons could this world EVER give me to do otherwise.
EVENING PRAYER-- Be present, O God, and protect us through the silent hours of this night, so that we who are wearied by the changes of this fleeting world may rest in your eternal changlessness, in the name of Christ, I pray. Amen.
It's a beautiful day.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
"Belief"
MORNING PRAYER- O Lord of Life, put your grace into my heart, that I may worthily magnify your great and glorious name. You have made me and sent me into the world to do your work. Assist me ot fulfill the purpose of my creation, and to show your praise by giving up myself to your service, today and always. Amen.
Psalm 32, Deuteronomy 7:17-26, Titus 3:1-15, John 1:43-51
Belief is the basis of faith. If you have faith then there has got to be belief stitched in there somewhere. The Gospel reading for today was about Nathanael's belief in God. Nathanael initially doubted Philip when he told him about "the one Moses wrote about in the Law" (John 1:45), but when Jesus told him that He had just seen him talking to Philip before he came, he immediately knew that he was the Messiah. Jesus even seemed amazed at his belief saying that he would see much more wonderful things than this by his faith. Imagine being told that by God! CRAZY!
The story of Ruth is the perfect example of belief. Even in the face of pure hopelessness and despair, Ruth put her faith in something bigger than what her situation looked like at that particular moment. Ruth had nothing to gain by staying with her mother-in-law, Naomi. Naomi was too old to be married again, and had lost her 2 sons. But, when she urged Ruth and Orpah to go back home to the land of their own mothers, Ruth "clung to her.." This is belief in its rawest form. Have you ever had to cling to something while being bombarded with all kinds of negativity on all sides? The thing that always keeps me hanging on is my faith. This is the kind of faith which gives me rest even when things around me seem to be falling apart and unsettled. Its the kind of faith that allows me to see the good that will come to the surface in due time in situations like the horrible Tsunami and earthquake that happened in Japan and in other parts of the Pacific Coast. There is no such thing as hopelessness when it comes to God. That's just the way it is.
EVENING PRAYER- O God, you instruct me with your laws , you redeem me by the blood of your Son, and you sanctify me by the grace of your Holy Spirit. Let me rest in peace so that I may rise more fit for service in your kingdom, in Jesus' name. Amen.
Psalm 32, Deuteronomy 7:17-26, Titus 3:1-15, John 1:43-51
Belief is the basis of faith. If you have faith then there has got to be belief stitched in there somewhere. The Gospel reading for today was about Nathanael's belief in God. Nathanael initially doubted Philip when he told him about "the one Moses wrote about in the Law" (John 1:45), but when Jesus told him that He had just seen him talking to Philip before he came, he immediately knew that he was the Messiah. Jesus even seemed amazed at his belief saying that he would see much more wonderful things than this by his faith. Imagine being told that by God! CRAZY!
The story of Ruth is the perfect example of belief. Even in the face of pure hopelessness and despair, Ruth put her faith in something bigger than what her situation looked like at that particular moment. Ruth had nothing to gain by staying with her mother-in-law, Naomi. Naomi was too old to be married again, and had lost her 2 sons. But, when she urged Ruth and Orpah to go back home to the land of their own mothers, Ruth "clung to her.." This is belief in its rawest form. Have you ever had to cling to something while being bombarded with all kinds of negativity on all sides? The thing that always keeps me hanging on is my faith. This is the kind of faith which gives me rest even when things around me seem to be falling apart and unsettled. Its the kind of faith that allows me to see the good that will come to the surface in due time in situations like the horrible Tsunami and earthquake that happened in Japan and in other parts of the Pacific Coast. There is no such thing as hopelessness when it comes to God. That's just the way it is.
EVENING PRAYER- O God, you instruct me with your laws , you redeem me by the blood of your Son, and you sanctify me by the grace of your Holy Spirit. Let me rest in peace so that I may rise more fit for service in your kingdom, in Jesus' name. Amen.
Friday, March 11, 2011
"Delight in Me"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUsZ9LHNM40
MORNING PRAYER: Everlasting God, I bless you with my whold heart and thank you for your goodness to me. Watch over me today with eyes of mercy; direct my soul and body according to your will, and fill my heart with your Holy Spirit that I may live this day, and all the rest of my days, to your glory. Amen.
Psalm 31, Deuteronomy 7: 12-16, Titus 2: 1-15, John 1: 35-42
MORNING PRAYER: Everlasting God, I bless you with my whold heart and thank you for your goodness to me. Watch over me today with eyes of mercy; direct my soul and body according to your will, and fill my heart with your Holy Spirit that I may live this day, and all the rest of my days, to your glory. Amen.
Psalm 31, Deuteronomy 7: 12-16, Titus 2: 1-15, John 1: 35-42
Where I Belong
by: Cory Asbury
"I am my beloved's and He is mine,
So come into Your garden,
and take delight in me,
Take delight in me."
This 4-line verse has moved me and been in my heart every second for about 2 whole days now, it may be because I commonly become obsessed with songs and play them over and over again rewinding and fastforwarding to my favorite parts until Youtube decides to freeze, and then I wait a few minutes and try it again! haha! Or maybe it's because its been such a hard journey to get to a place where I feel even a little bit okay with asking him to take delight in me. I'm still not there, but I am closer than I have ever been before, and don't intend on ever being farther than I am now ever again. Living a Godly life seemed like such an impossible task about 8 months ago, but now it seems the only way to survive now. Another theme of today, and all days so far, is mercy, even more than this, unconditional acceptance. Luke 15: 20, "When he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him."
The story of the Prodigal son is a perfect example of this. Even though the younger son, after receiving his share of the estate of his father, went and squandered everything he had, rebelling against everything he had been taught, his father accepted him and made everyone drop everything in order to celebrate for his son who had returned, repentant. This is also a great example of how God brings us low. The young boy had become so poor and desperate that he was begging for scraps of food from the pigs he had become responsible for feeding.
"15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one
gave him anything." (Luke 15: 15-16)
God brings it back through Him, but it costs us this kind of desperation everytime. For me, this form of desperation came one day when it was raining on campus and I was walking from class. It seemed like I was in a haze, and nothing about that day felt right. I felt alone in crowded places, and distant from everyone else. Every part of me ached in a deep place, and when I got home I lay on my bed with my backpack still on my back and cried until it was night out. I gave my life back to God that night. After months of trying to replace the joy He gives with other, more temporary things, He brought me to my lowest of low. I could not have imagined that I would be where I am today, loving life, and more importantly, living for Him.
Renouncing worldly passions was the hardest thing for me to imagine, let alone to actually do it. I often rationalized with myself that God wouldn't really make me give up the things of this world, and that He only meant I needed to give Him my attention, etc. Who did I think I was fooling? In Living a Godly Life, there are no shortcuts or alternatives for what He has so clearly stated as the ways we should obey and live for Him. To think otherwise is a fool's choice, and a fool's life. I'm pretty tired of being a fool.
"Here in my presence, God,
I find my rest,
Here in your presence, God."
EVENING PRAYER: "O my God, I love you above all things, with my whole heart and soul, because you are worthy of all my love. I forgive all who have injured me, and I ask pardon for all whom I may have injured. Amen."
Thursday, March 10, 2011
"Burn Away"
MORNING PRAYER: "Eternal Father, I acknowledge that all I am, all I have is yours. Give me such a sense of your goodness today, that I may return to you all possible love and obedience, in Jesus' name. Amen."
Psalm 37, Deuteronomy 7:6-11, Titus 1:1-16, John 1: 29-34
God is so good. Today seems to be all about Thanksgiving to the Lord, and just a total appreciation and awareness of just how Blessed I really am. This morning it seemed like everyone woke up with this same kind of heart. K Love played songs like "Blessed Be The Name of the LORD", "How Great is Our God" and "You Are Everything." People were having so many fun conversations on the way to school this morning and everyone just seemed happy. I probably looked absolutely ridiculous with this huge smile on my face as the feelings of gratefulness were reflected on the faces of random people I didn't even know. It didn't really matter what exactly what they were talking about or doing, just the smiles and the laughter and relationship reminded me of everything Christ has given me.
The steadfastness of His great mercy and love far exceeds anything of my life that I could ever give an example of, or think of period. There is no part of Him that is staind or imperfect in any way, shape, or form, which makes the fact that He would accept me or count me as one of His children even more irrational. Someone who is perfect and untainted, fully accepting (without limitations or bitterness, or even a remembrance of the things I have done in my past) me, who is severly imperfect, tainted, staind, all kinds of things! This does not make sense.... at all. But, it is exactly this kind of nonsense that makes our Father so great. How Great Thou Art!:
Psalm 37, Deuteronomy 7:6-11, Titus 1:1-16, John 1: 29-34
God is so good. Today seems to be all about Thanksgiving to the Lord, and just a total appreciation and awareness of just how Blessed I really am. This morning it seemed like everyone woke up with this same kind of heart. K Love played songs like "Blessed Be The Name of the LORD", "How Great is Our God" and "You Are Everything." People were having so many fun conversations on the way to school this morning and everyone just seemed happy. I probably looked absolutely ridiculous with this huge smile on my face as the feelings of gratefulness were reflected on the faces of random people I didn't even know. It didn't really matter what exactly what they were talking about or doing, just the smiles and the laughter and relationship reminded me of everything Christ has given me.
The steadfastness of His great mercy and love far exceeds anything of my life that I could ever give an example of, or think of period. There is no part of Him that is staind or imperfect in any way, shape, or form, which makes the fact that He would accept me or count me as one of His children even more irrational. Someone who is perfect and untainted, fully accepting (without limitations or bitterness, or even a remembrance of the things I have done in my past) me, who is severly imperfect, tainted, staind, all kinds of things! This does not make sense.... at all. But, it is exactly this kind of nonsense that makes our Father so great. How Great Thou Art!:
"How Great Thou Art"
O Lord my God,
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all
The works Thy Hand hath made,
I see the stars,
I hear the mighty thunder,
Thy pow'r throughout
The universe displayed;
When through the woods
And forest glades I wander
I hear the birds
Sing sweetly in the trees;
When I look down
From lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook
And feel the gentle breeze;
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
When Christ shall come,
When Christ shall come,
With shouts of acclamation,
And take me home,
What joy shall fill my heart!
Then I shall bow
In humble adoration
And there proclaim,
"My God, how great Thou art!"
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art!
How great Thou art!
I absolutely love this song with all my heart! I especially love to hear it sung by my friend, Brittney Whidden, because its hymns like this that make me think of how praise and worship will sound in heaven. My sister has often described B. Whid's voice as angelic, and I couldn't agree more. This song is perfect, because it showcases every bit of God's glory, while reminding me how much more humble I need to be in order to even be the smallest bit worthy of anything He has given me. And even though I could never deserve anything He has given me, He doesn't keep it from me. He doesn't withold the things He has for me because of my impure heart or because of my pride. The more undeserving I am, the more His mercy exceeds. Amazing love. I feel so blessed that He sees me fit enough to discipline me as He did last night and stop me before I made these 40 days completely about something else other than what He has planned. I felt broken, but humbled, and that is what He calls for. Before last night, I felt sure I knew what it meant to be humbled-- I did not have a friggin clue. But, He is so patient and kind, and broke my heart in a way that no earthly love ever could. It was such a constructive breaking of the heart, in that instead of feeling depressed or hopeless, I felt loved and cherished, and excited for what is next! How strange is that? To be honest, my first reaction to being called out for my pride last night was anger. I was absolutely furious that He would speak through Pastor Chet in that way and call me out in front of the entire congregation-- even though Chet had no clue he was speaking directly about/to me and neither did anyone else in the congregation-- I felt sure everyone knew and they were judging me. So, I had to take one second, get myself together, and I said "I know this is not the right reaction, but I am so mad that You would do this." I told God I was mad at Him......... What?! He should have slapped my face off and sent it flying across the sanctuary, but He gently prodded me to pray and forget about my anger, something I struggle to do everyday. And then He told me that He loves me this way. He loves our broken hearts for Him. Only when our hearts are broken can His love truly reach us to our deepest core. For:
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:17)
EVENING PRAYER: "Lord God, you see my heart, and my desires are not hidden from you. To you, O God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, my Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier, I give up myself entirely. May I no longer serve myself, but you alone. Amen."
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