"Submission.."

Submission has such a negative connotation in our world today. I've never been a fan of it, until I began a true relationship with God. And as many well know, that is where it all starts. In order to even begin to be even a little bit ready for God to come into our lives we experience a point of complete surrender and beg Him to take over our lives. It's really important, not just in our walk with Christ, but in my daily life. I have to submit to having a better attitude, to authority, to my body (like, when its hungry, I have to feed- it sort of thing). But, what I don't have to submit to, is anything or anyone of this world who would ask me to compromise my faith in Christ. I think, for me, that is what makes all other submission more than bearable. That I have a Savior who would never ask of me anything that could not be done, as a matter of fact, He asks of me things which have just the right amount of difficulty, gently pushing/guiding me back towards Him to find the answers. He is good.

¹ What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? ² You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. ³ When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. (James 4:1-3)

I heard this saying on tv the other day, and its been stuck in my head ever since and I'm gonna use it right here because it is a perfect example of what it means... This scripture has always been one of those where Jesus just "blows my spot up." HAH! This means that He is straight up calling me out, and just bustin out all the things I would have thought I was hiding behind my oh-so-sincere prayers that I have given at one point only out of alterior motives. He's the only one who could "blow my spot up" with love and in a way that beckons me to get rid of that kind of spirit.

I love this scripture because it really causes me to look at the world differently. Saying that quarrels and fights only come from "desires that battle within you" (v.1) is rather mindblowing for me. This would mean that none, 0% of the fights and quarrels that we participate and encounter in our lives are solely, if at all, about that other person. No, it is about what you are not getting from that person, or from life that you want at that time. This doesn't go to say that sometimes quarrels need to be had or sometimes the other person is indeed wrong, its not even about that at this point, its about seeing the problem and taking a look into your own desires in life to see where the quarreling has started, so that maybe instead of quarreling, we can bring it to our neighbor in love and "talk" things out.

This is definitely one of those things that I have to submit to ALL the time. I am a very impatient person. Through my relationship with Christ, He is teaching me that not everyone is on my time, and while I am still learning, I still get very frustrated sometimes. But, the frustration isn't rooted in that other person half the time, its rooted in the fact that I am failing to see and understand both sides. I take an extremely long time to get ready a lot of the time, and I HATE to be rushed, so, when I'm rushed, I go and I get angry the next time I'm waiting on someone. It's the dumbest cycle ever. But, its the I'm angry and you made me angry, so now that the tables have turned, its your time to deal with me rushing you and acting dumb, then the next time, you can do the same to me.... WHAT? I don't want to live a life like that. That's the kind of life that causes the kind of sayings like, "An eye for an eye." So, now you have 2 people without and eye. What does that solve? I'm willing to bet both of those people are still angry, only now, with one eye...

⁷ Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (James 4:8-10)

Isn't it good to serve a God, who never asks too much of us? When I think, I can't do something, I am reminded that HE knows exactly what I can handle, and wouldn't give me an ounce more than that. There is nothing more than I could want or need from this world that HE has put out of my grasp. So, thanks God, for always "blowing my spot up!" ahaha!

"He is proud of You"

MORNING PRAYER: Almighty God, I bless you from my heart, O Savior of the World, God of God, Light of Light, you have destroyed the power of the devil, you have overcome death, and you sit at the right hand of the Father. Be today my light and peace and make me a new creature, through Christ my Lord, Amen.

Psalm 102, Ezekiel 34:11-31, Hebrews 8:1-13, Luke 10:38-42

¹⁹ “The LORD looked down from his sanctuary on high,
   from heaven he viewed the earth,
²⁰ to hear the groans of the prisoners
   and release those condemned to death.”
-Psalm 102: 19-20

  Not too long ago, tonight, me and my mother were in the kitchen cutting up a watermelon and she said, "Ya know, your dad is very proud of you." WHAT? I'm gonna just go ahead and point out that that is by far the sweetest words I have ever heard in my entire life. The sweetest, but most humbling words I will ever hear. But, isn't this what we all truly want to hear? How much greater would it be to hear it from our Master?! I have so much to learn, and the only thing that I am doing is trying, but that opened up some part of my mind that I haven't ever accessed before. It's given me a new kind of drive to try even harder to be the person God wants me to be, because He is showing me that when you live by His commands your life will display just that. I don't think I ever really knew exactly what that statement meant until now... I still don't fully understand it. It is amazing to me how He looks after us! This week, for some reason, I was feeling more down than usual and especially unnoticed. Yet another reason why what my mom said is blowing me away. The God that I serve notices me. In fact, there is never a second or millisecond when He is not thinking of me. There is never a time when He doesn't see and feel me as His child. How lovely is that? He see me when, ⁴ "My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food," (Psalm 102:4) as well as when ⁷ I lie awake; I have become  like a bird alone on a roof". (Psalm 102:7)

The most amazing part about this is the fact that He loves me still. On KLOVE one day this week, Kelly and Scott were on and they were reading the Sarah Young devotion for the day, which, by the way, I have to buy ASAP. It is written as though God is speaking directly to you, and the one for this particular day had Jesus saying that He could easily just step right in and save us, but that He loves us much more than that. He goes on to say that He is waiting, longing for us to step in His direction and give Him our all. Once again, WHAT? This is some crazy stuff to think about. Not only do we "have such a high priest, who sat down at the right hand of the throne of the Majesty in heaven, ² and who serves in the sanctuary, the true tabernacle set up by the Lord, not by a mere human being," (Ezekiel 34:1-2), but He longs for us. In all of His glory and majesty that could never be fathomable to us, He loves us. He loves me. Never will I understand this kind of love, but I plan to continue to strive to live a life worthy of spending the rest of eternity giving praise to the one who notices me. I LOVE YOU GOD.

EVENING PRAYER: Father, accept my imperfect repentance, show compassion for my infirmities, forgive my faults, purify my motives, strengthen my weakness, and let your good Spirit watch over me, and your love ever rule my heart, through the mercies of Jesus, I pray. Amen. 

 "For in the darkness and ignorance of this life, he is the light which enlightens the lowly of spirit; he is the love which draws us; he is the sweetening presence; he, the man's approach to God; he, the love of the loving; he is devotion; he is piety."
     Quote from The Mirror of Charity by William Thierry